Make people feel great about helping you: How to ask for help, pt. 1
Amelia's Newsletter #2
Pretend two different people have just sent you the following asks for help:
#1:
Thanks so much for all your support. Next, I have a goal to get to 100 reviews in the App Store this month - I’m halfway there! Can you leave me a review to help me reach my goal? Thank you for being part of my journey — could not have gotten here without you.
#2:
I’m sorry to bother you, I know you’re so busy. I hate to be an annoyance, but if you wouldn’t mind leaving our little app a review that would mean the world to me. But don’t worry if it’s too inconvenient, no worries.
Who are you more excited to help?
Ask for help like 🙌 😊 💪 not like 😭🙏 🙇♀️
The ask is exactly the same in both cases: “Would you please leave a review for my app?” But most people find #1 much more compelling.
This is because when you ask this way, you:
Sound more confident, therefore inspiring confidence in your abilities. People feel they’re accelerating your success, vs. taking pity on you.
Make people feel like they are on a team together with you
Make people feel like they’re contributing to achieve a goal
Make people feel great about themselves for helping you
Parting thoughts
As a founder, your success depends on your ability to marshal and tap the support network you’ve built around you, whether those are teammates, investors, friends, or customers. Make people feel great about themselves for helping you, and you will be amazed at how much more help you get.
Notes
[1] I must admit I have noticed that when I do receive an ask like #2, it’s disproportionately likely to have come from a female founder friend vs. a male founder friend. Speculating on why: From my own personal experience, I had to change the way I ask for help and it was not easy. It was a rewiring of my brain. I’d spent most of my life believing I should ask like #2, because I had concluded from 1) societal norms for women, but also 2) traditional Chinese cultural norms that’s that what I was supposed to do.
[2] Thanks to Sam Corcos for inspiring this post with his writing on activating your investor network. It’s a great read that contains a lot of truths about how to get help, not just from investors, but from anyone.
Thanks to Ada Chen Rekhi, Jordan Kraft Lambert, Rachel Liaw, Joe Mahavuthivanij, Yana Welinder, and Jade Choy for feedback on this post.